Ben’s Take: Until today we’ve never tested a product where I felt genuinely fearful for my health. Even the Bee Ice Cream Cone Candy or Too Tarts Melted Ice Cream Spray Candy never smelled or tasted concerning enough to make me think that I might actually put my organs in jeopardy. Burger King’s Hot Fries mark the first (and hopefully) the last product that we’re going to sample that might kill us me in an acute and immediate fashion. I really can’t fault Marisa for skipping on the taste trial portion of this trial. It truly is terrible.
Many of the successful salty snack products on the market are incorporate some degree of spiciness, from Tim’s Cascade Gourmet Jalapeno Potato Chips to Cheetos Flamin’ Hot Flavored Snacks so a puffed potato chip from a well recognized brand, such as Burger King seemed like a fairly safe bet. To make the bet even safer the BK Hot Fries were a cool $0.50/bag so how could you go wrong? I mean the worst it could be is bland, right? Right? Wrong. Oh so very wrong.
When I cracked the bag open my nostrils weren’t indulged with the smell of oil and pure capsaicin. Instead my olfactory were assaulted with the pungent aroma of toluene. Now, it may not have been toluene but it sure as heck smelled like it to me. Not wanting to waste a perfectly good review I stuck my nose in the bag, and the bag didn’t just assault my nose it declared war on my nose. The aroma of toluene and chili peppers was so overpowering I had to set the bag down and work on another photo project for a while. I really wish I was being over dramatic.
When I returned to the bag I pulled a few chips out of the bag, and arranged them in a glass so I could photograph them for the post. This allowed the chips to air out for a bit, and when I gave them another sniff they didn’t smell quite as bad, so in my stupidity I scarfed a few down (my photography beers may have influenced this decision) and what was my mouth greeted with? More toluene. If you’ve ever had paint splash in your mouth while painting out doors, you’ll recognize the flavor. Just imagine that flavor liberally doused on a puffed potato stick with some pepper powder and salt and you’ve got the exact flavor of BK Hot Fries. Absolutely vile and probably toxic.
I ended up sampling a few more chips because I couldn’t believe my nose or taste buds, and they all had the same aroma, texture, and flavor. They just tasted like they were unsafe for human consumption, and after allowing Marisa and a few other people to huff the bag, I chucked that crap in the garbage. Liver damage from substances other than ethanol just isn’t something to be shared. If you see this on your discounter’s shelves, run, don’t walk away.
Marisa’s Take: Just a forewarning since this IS a food review website: I did not eat this product. Just wanted to make that known since I’ve been called out on calling a food disgusting without even eating it. In a chivalrous attempt to save my tastebuds, and perhaps my life, Ben refused to let me eat these things (though apparently he has no qualms when I eat Peeps or drink sugar-free MiO “water enhancer”).
Ben selected these because he thought they would be an awesome snack to try. And who can blame him? The idea of a spicy, crispy french-fry like snack made by Burger King is pretty appealing. However, when I found the bag opened and sitting on his dashboard, he warned me not to try them. Instead, he suggested I simply sniff the bag to find out why he hadn’t finished them. My eyes and nose were hit with an acidic, spicy, almost chemical smell that sent me into a coughing fit. I don’t know what in the world was sprayed on these “fries” (potato starch chip things) to flavor them, but as Ben mentioned, it’s not a pleasant thing to inhale (I, for one, have never had paint splash into my mouth though. But I’ll compare this experience to the time I got hair color in my eye).
I’m sad this product wasn’t awesome. From the company that brought us Burger Shots, the Enormous Omelet Sandwich and the mascot rated most likely to give you nightmares, I wish their snack food ventures could have been just a bit more edible. BK Hot Fries, I hardly knew ye.
Tags: Burger King, Spicy
I do believe this review was written over dramatically. For one thing they were fifty cents a bag, and another, they were from BURGER KING. Those two things ALONE should have told you not to buy or eat this product. Something from Burger King, TASTY?! You’re the first person I’ve EVER heard call their slop “awesome” Awesome maybe if you want food poisoning, which ironically, Burger King gave me…from trying ONE of my friend’s chicken fries. Over night I ended up with salmonella. Either way, you’re the stupid one for buying and consuming this.
08.09.11 at 3:09 pm
I wish I was making a hyperbole but the contents of my BK Hot Fries Potato Snacks really smelled and tasted like paint thinner. I don’t know what planet you’re from but it’s a known fact that potato snacks are inexpensive to make and incredibly hard to cock up. Besides, $.50/bag of snack chips isn’t even close to being a price outlier at a food discounter. In fact it’s pretty much par for the course for the size of the BK Hot Fries bag. Perhaps you’re unfamiliar with the mission of Clearance Cuisine and food discounters in general?
Allow me to give you a quick refresher on what we do since you seemed to have missed our the point of our site: We go to food discounters to find interesting food. Then we eat it and honestly review it.
Now let’s address your last statement because I’m sure you missed the part of the website where I’m a huge skeptic.
“Burger King gave me…from trying ONE of my friend’s chicken fries. Over night I ended up with salmonella. Either way, you’re the stupid one for buying and consuming this.”
Did your friend come down with salmonella poisoning? Did the health department determine that the salmonella was traced to to the Burger King Chicken Fries? Did your medical professionals determine that the source of your alleged salmonella colonization was from a Burger King product? Is it possible that you consumed another food that could have been contaminated with salmonella, such as a sandwich prepared with cold cut meat? Is it possible that another food product that you consumed was contaminated with salmonella?
I’m not saying you didn’t experience a bout with food poisoning but your statement about salmonella poisoning from a single chicken tender finger thing isn’t something that I can let slide. You were very specific about what you were colonized with what the source was. Salmonella contamination from an establishment’s food products means basic food handling and preparation techniques were not followed. Most large corporations involved in the preparation of food products as well as most local health departments are very serious about food contamination and food handling techniques so for you to say something like “I got salmonella poisoning from ONE chicken finger” carries very far reaching implications.
Now that I got that out of the way I’ll close by saying: how a product smells and tastes is a subjective matter and we strive to keep the our reviews entertaining, but there is no reason for us to go off the rails and whip material out of our butts. It’s not like we make massive amounts of money off of the gig or are shills for some corporate entity. We’re just a couple who lives in the PNW with a passion for food discounters and writing. There’s no reason for us to compromise our intellectual honesty by spouting off dramatized falsehoods when the food manufacturing industry has done all of the hard work.
Also, I enjoy my Whoppers thank you very much.
08.09.11 at 10:32 pm