Note: Official product name is: “Quaker True Delights Toasted Coconut Banana Macadamia Nut Chew Granola Bar with Whole Grains” (try saying that three times fast, bonus points for saying it with a True Delights bar stuffed in your mouth)
I’d love to meet the person behind naming products like Quaker True Delights (granola bars), Dove’s Promises (individually-wrapped chocolates), Betty Crocker’s Warm Delights (a plastic bowl full of chocolate you stick in the microwave) and other indulgent product names seemingly targeted to middle-aged women who flop down on the couch in front of the TV after a long day of work and eat the product straight from the bag/box/pint with a spoon (which I am definitely guilty of, on multiple occasions).
Note how they post all the nutritional benefits on the packaging – 0g trans fat! Iron! C’mon guys, face it, it’s a candy bar. It’s oats held together by sugar topped with banana and toasted coconut (also coated in sugar). A true delight (only 140 calories though).
The smell was overwhelming when the wrapper came off; it was akin to a tropical sugar skin scrub from a fancy-pants spa. The actual bar was quite gooey, but crispy with a flavor that I can only describe as “banana syrup”. In my head, I can picture a giant bottle of fluorescent yellow-tinted liquid sitting at the Quaker factory. It was really sticky and gooey when I held it too.
It kind of reminds me of a tropical island Rice Krispie treat, if such a thing existed (but with oats instead of puffed rice). There’s also a cloying sweetness that sticks around in your mouth for a while after eating one. I ending up eating the rest of the bar after the initial taste test, despite my above critique (sugar is truly a powerful drug).
Watch for my newest granola/health bar in a few years – it’s going to be powdered women’s multivitamins combined with oats, flax seed and Metamucil. It’ll be called, “You Go Girl!” (No relation to Go Girl energy drink).
Checking out some past reviews of the product, looks like they’ve changed their original black packaging with script lettering to something slightly less…seductive (what’s pictured above).