Hostess Fruit Pies

17 comments Written on March 14th, 2011 by
Categories: Food
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In honor of Pi Day, we decided at the last minute to pick up a suitable product for the occasion (literally bought it yesterday morning). You’ve probably seen these babies gracing supermarket checkout stands, aging gracefully like fine wines. With enticing flavors like apple, cherry, pineapple, lemon, blackberry, strawberry, French apple (ooh la la!), Hostess Fruit Pies have served as after school snacks for generations of fat children and will probably continue to for years to come, despite all the anti-HFCS sentiment (High Fructose Corn Syrup, which the majority of this product seems to consist of) and Michelle Obama campaigns.

If you thought pastry snacks like Pop Tarts and Toaster Strudels were bad, think again. Hostess Fruit Pies are 480 calories a pop (for reference, two Pop Tarts are 400 calories, even the indulgent flavors like “Hot Fudge Sundae”). Considering the nutritional value of this fruit pie, I was a bit disappointed that one pie cost one dollar (and that was the sale price).  I would expect something more like 50 cents. I decided to go with cherry since it’s a classic flavor, though not as American as Apple Pie. If anything, it’s painful to call this thing a “pie”; this ain’t no dessert baked by your dear old Grandma and cooling on the windowsill.

You’re sorely mistaken if you think the inclusion of the word “fruit” in this product makes it anywhere near healthy. The fruit in this product only consists of a bright red goo inside; no actual cherries in sight, besides on the packaging. I do have to give props for the Hostess website for attempting to make these sound slightly appealing with phrases like “heat them up and let the fruit filled aroma fill the house” and “serve them a la mode”. I hereby nominate a Hostess Fruit Pie with a scoop of vanilla ice cream hastily slapped on top as the most depressing dessert ever. The site also mentions that “a trip to the snack cake aisle can be like visiting a country fruit stand”, that is, if your local fruit stand consists of jars of red, yellow and purple goo.

Truth be told, I didn’t even eat any of this pie, since I remember the sugary gooey taste from my childhood. Ben took off a piece of the frosted crust and ate it, then threw the rest away citing, “I don’t want anyone else to eat the rest of this” with a somber look on his face.

I’d link to a site where you could buy these online, but they’re available at pretty much any supermarket, convenience store or gas station.

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17 comments “Hostess Fruit Pies”

No fruit? They used to have real fruit in them, it was just like the canned pie filling. Haven’t had a real Hostess Fruit Pie in more than 25 years though. Got some generic look a likes at Sav-A-Lot a yeat ago… Good lord they were horrible. They pastry part was literally like eating raw dough.

While cherries are included in the ingredient list (posted below), the insides are just a red goo – like pie filling minus the actual whole/halved cherries. I’m not exactly sure what they’ve been through to transform them into that goo.

“Enriched Wheat Flour (Flour, Ferrous Sulfate (Iron), B Vitamins (Niacin, Thiamine Mononitrate (B1), Riboflavin (B2), Folic Acid)], Cherries, Partially Hydrogenated Vegetable and/or Animal Shortening (Contains One or More of: Soybean, Cottonseed or Canola Oil, Beef Fat), Sugar, Water, Corn Syrup, High Fructose Corn Syrup, Modified Corn Starch, Contains 2% or Less of: Soy Flour, Salt, Sweet Dairy Whey, Soy Protein Isolate, Calcium and Sodium Caseinate, Calcium Carbonate, Calcium Sulfate, Agar, Locust Bean Gum, Dextrose, Sodium Phosphate, Corn Flour, Corn Dextrin, Cornstarch, Natural and Artificial Flavors, Sodium Propionate and Sorbic Acid (to Retain Freshness), FD&C Red 40, Yellow 5, Blue 1.”

A few years back, I had to eat ten of these faster than at least three of my twelve fellow pledges. You don’t even want to know what the punishment would be for the bottom three. Now, what I did learn is that the flavors ranked from apple to berry to cherry to lemon to chocolate (only five flavors we had). Oh my god, considering we had to eat them cold, chocolate was horrible! Ah, the frat days…

Through some very quick research (consisting of Googling “Hostess Pudding Pies”), looks like they still exist but are pretty difficult to find. I haven’t seen them around here for ages, but I’m gonna keep my eyes open for some now.

There’s even a Facebook page and an online petition out there to bring them back. Gigi Reviews also did a write-up on them.

What kind of review website doesn’t even taste the products?

To be completely honest, the kind of review for a food product where I’m pretty sure my tastes haven’t changed in the year since I last had one. It also coincided with me feeling fat and hormonal. I have no intention on making a habit doing that, so thanks for calling me out on it.

The company I work for offers both fruit and pudding pies! I love the apple fruit pies! They are wonderful and are made with real fruit. Like the pie filling with fruit chunks in the cans…then it’s wrapped up in a wonderful glazed crust! Loved them as a kid and still eat them every other day! An they do have a chocolate pie…not one I’ve tried…not my type lol! I’m in Ohio and they’re everywhere here!

We’ll have to swing by sometime and pick some up when we’re in Ohio!

this is old fashioning hostess fruit pie i was kid long time.. just stop… kinda sweet ugh!! i was teenager about toaster strudal snack tasty.. and old now i getting type 2 diabetics.. not need any more.. sick and spike…. maybe take out inside jelly off….

I know they are not exactly healthy, but these pies are soooo good! I loved them in my childhood, and I still love them today. For those of you asking where to buy them, I get them at http://www.hostess-pies.com where they sell cherry, apple, lemon and chocolate pudding flavors.

I happen to love the apple pies. Was bummed to hear that hostess in our area is shutting down their factory….just hope they have other ones that stay up and running.

Hostess pies ARE pure junk, but what delicious junk! Back in the 1960′s my mom would always put some type of Hostess goodie in my lunchbox, and I was always most satisfied when it was a pie. Remember before Hostess bought out Dolly Madison, and Hostess’ version of raspberry Zingers were called Tiger Tails? I seem to remember they even worked in tiger’s striped tail into the product name… maybe the “S” in Tiger Tails? Also, I remember when they made French Apple pies, and they were in a medium blue package, with a little French tricolor flag! I remember getting them on occasion just as a switch from the regular apple pie in the green package. That must have been late 1960′s/early 1970′s. My Mom even remembers when the Hostess symbol was a heart with a white silhouette of a woman in the middle. I only remember the heart within the house.

these pies I brought didn’t have any cherries in them pieces yes taste like they were frozen and what happen to the sugar on the out side of them very disappointed in them will I buy more no


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