Posts Tagged ‘Banana’

Too Tarts Melted Ice Cream Spray Candy

2 comments Written on April 4th, 2011 by
Categories: Food
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Product: Too Tarts Melted Ice Cream Spray Candy (Flavors Reviewed: Strawberry, Blueberry and Banana Split)
Purchased at: Valley Liquidation
 Price: $1.00 per spray

Marisa’s Take: Kids these days have a lot to watch out for. Drinking, drugs, gangs, junk food, Rebecca Black music videos. So I can applaud a company that wants to create a delicious, sugar-free alternative to the normal Snickers and Skittles candy fare in the attempts to curb the childhood obesity epidemic. Innovative Candy Concepts, makers of Too Tarts Melted Ice Cream Spray Candy, had the right idea when they wanted to create a sugar-free spray candy but I’m don’t think it’s the best execution. In the 2007 press release announcing the product, the ICC president and CEO states, “Ice cream just seems to taste better when it’s melted”. I respectfully have to disagree. If melted ice cream were better than its naturally frozen form, they’re be tubs and tubes of melted ice cream sloshing on grocery store shelves. I’m also kind of iffy on the concept of spraying a Splenda sweetened, syrupy liquid into my mouth and calling it “candy”, just like I’m hesitant about pepper spray blasting into my eyes and calling it “caliente eye drops”.

Nevertheless, I picked up all three flavors of Melted Ice Cream Candy – Strawberry, Blueberry and Banana Split, each for 99 cents each. In the mindset of keeping kids safe, it’s somewhat unfortunate that this product looks very similar to fume-filled magic markers that kids should stay away from, lest they catch a whiff and become drug-addled maniacs. Half of the items in our featured  picture are actually markers. We just wanted to point out the similarity (don’t do drugs kids).

I tried the strawberry flavor first. Couldn’t be too hard to pull off, right? My tongue was hit with a chemical-tasting, extremely artificial hit of vaguely strawberry tasting liquid, with no hint of the “cream” part of the ice cream. I had the same exact experience with the blueberry flavor. I don’t even recall blueberry ice cream ever mass marketed by one of the major ice cream companies, but if so, this would be a poor imitation of it. The last time I recall having a banana split was at 2am at a Denny’s with my dad, so I hoped the final flavor would rekindle fond memories of smoky, depressing bar counter but no such luck. Actually, it reminded me exactly of a liquid form of banana Runts. If you’re one of the people who crave that artificial banana flavor, you’re in luck – now you have the ability to spray that concentrated flavor directly into your mouth.

I truly wish this could have been a delicious, sugar-free alternative to my weekly gallon of semi-melted Breyers as I watch America’s Next Top Model, but sadly, no such luck. I’ll just continue to consume my Splenda in less exciting ways like soda.

Ben’s Take: Diabetes, or “diabeetus” as one Wilford Brimley would put it, is reaching epidemic levels in the United States, and around the world. For many people, the disease has been linked to over consuming products that are high in simple carbohydrates, like sugar. Overeating simple carbohydrates leads to a condition called “insulin resistance” which is what happens when your body requires more and more insulin to store or use the same amount of glucose. We all know that diabetics are forced to monitor their caloric and sugar intake so that they can properly dose him or herself with the appropriate amount of insulin via a needle or an insulin pump.

Due to the chronic nature of the diabetes, as well as the rather steady growth people who are afflicted with the condition, we’ve seen quite a few sugar free products hit the market. From Tab, to sugar free candies corporations have tried to keep pace with America’s insulin resistant sweet tooth. Most of these products are pretty all right facsimiles of the products or class of products they imitate, but occasionally someone makes something that just doesn’t make sense.

Too Tarts Melted Ice Cream Spray Candy is one of those products. It just doesn’t make sense as a regular product, let alone a sugar-free product. I just don’t understand who/what Too Tarts is targeting this towards.  Is it for the “I can’t have a sugar-free hard candy so I use a spritz bottle of concentrated flavored sucralose demographic?” Does this demographic even exist? I don’t even know.

What I do know is this stuff is terrible. Just terrible. The bright marker colored bottles should have been an indicator that it was a trap. The flavors we tried tasted nothing like any ice cream, sorbet or gelato I’ve ever shoved in my mouth. (I wonder who would want to eat ice cream that had melted anyways?) Doesn’t that defeat the purpose?

Instead it tastes like hyper sweet artificial flavors that you would find in the lowest quality candies.

Of course, in concentrated liquid form. Perhaps you’re supposed to spray some of this into a beverage? I don’t know but that sounds equally terrible. Really, if this is what you have to eat as a diabetic it’s just a little more incentive to avoid getting it. Not that I go around taste testing every calorie dense sugary product that wanders my way. Too Tarts Melted Ice Cream Spray Candy is just a terrible tasting product that I would actually spend money to avoid having near my mouth again. Really.

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GoGo SqueeZ Applesauce

No Comments » Written on March 4th, 2011 by
Categories: Food
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Product: GoGo SqueeZ Applesauce (Flavor Reviewed: Apple Banana)
Purchased at: Valley Liquidation
 Price: $1.49/box (4 resealable pouches)

Marisa’s Take: The phrase gogo has all but faded out of the English lexicon. Gone are the good ol’ days of things like go-go boots and “Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go“. Thankfully, GoGo SqueeZ has come to the rescue to liven up our language in addition to providing applesauce that comes in a pouch so you don’t need a spoon.

I used to take applesauce in my lunches all the time, from elementary school up through college. I always forgot a spoon so I had to regretfully use the foil lid as a poor substitute, in turn, usually cutting up the sides of my mouth and making people even more uncomfortable in my presence. GoGo SqueeZ would have been godsend back then, both for my poor mouth as well as my social life.

Gogo Squeez is technically meant for children, but those among us with little hands can appreciate it too. Plus, there’s no additional sugar added because that’s the last thing that most kids need these days. It’s pretty tasty – it seems more “pureed” than regular applesauce. If I happen to break my jaw someday, I’ll be set.

When I first picked this item up at Valley Liquidation, they had all of the flavors in stock, but when I stopped buy a week or so later, all but two boxes were gone. I’ve love to try the ApplePeach and AppleStrawberry sometime.

Ben’s Take: If you’ve ever wanted to eat applesauce like a commander of the Space Shuttle you don’t need to look any further than GoGo SqueeZ’s line of apple sauces. It’s applesauce. It’s in a moon pouch. Best of all, it’s easy to eat in zero gravity. (Okay, I don’t actually know how good it is in zero-g but if you want to pay for my trip on the Vomit Comet I’ll be more than happy to give you a field report).

Eating food out of a pouch isn’t a terribly foreign concept even for non-astronauts, kids start learning to drink from a pouch via Capri Sun’s sugary beverages, and in some countries they can purchase their milk in a bag. Not a particularly big stretch from applesauce in a suckable container. Heck, you could even consider Gogurt, camping food, and Meal, Ready to Eat (MREs) as a form of training to GoGo SqueeZ, or as I like to call it, “space commander apple sauce”.

Now that is quite enough about the novelty of the space commander sauce’s pouch. Today, we’re to discuss the banana-applesauce contents of the space commander pouch. At first taste, the tartness of the apple alerts your taste buds to its presence, but once your tongue adjusts to the apple the hint of banana comes out. It’s rather pleasant and complex, especially for what amounts to baby food in astronaut food’s clothing.

Even though Materne adds no sugar added to this particular applesauce, it is pleasantly sweet. I found it interesting that the ingredients were so simple. Each pouch contains four ingredients. “Apple, Banana, Apple Juice Concentrate, Lemon Juice Concentrate.” Surprisingly, and at least in my mind, pleasantly Spartan. Now I’m no mommy, and for the record I’m rather opposed to how many mommy blogs operate, but if I had kids I would consider keeping this stuff on hand. It’s quite tasty and it’s comforting to know that it’s not loaded with extra sugar or salt. Heck. I’d consider keeping this stuff on hand for me. Mmm. Baby astronaut food.

Going back to the pouch, it does have its advantages and disadvantages. I’ll start with the disadvantages: I really liked how this applesauce tasted. It was really tasty, but when I reached the end of the package there was just a little left inside of the hard plastic mouthpiece that I just couldn’t get to. Just a little tasty morsel waiting there. Teasing my taste buds. Begging to be eaten. It was infuriating trying to get to them. At least with a Mott’s applesauce cup I could lick the inside of the cup like a Welsh Corgi trying to get at the peanut butter at the bottom of the jar. But this? Nope. The only way to get to that last morsel is to chew, and chew I did, but it just wasn’t worth the effort once I finally got to my prize.

On the plus side, the pouch doesn’t require the use of tools and you don’t look like an utter fool trying to make a makeshift spoon out o the aluminum foil lid, which invariably leads to me forgetting about my fillings and chewing on the lid. The pouches also fit quite well in my driver’s side map pouch on my car’s door. Handy for when you’re stuck in traffic.  Finally, if you’re Jewish, these guys are totally kosher. I guess that’s cool?

Really, these pouches are pretty handy and the product is really tasty. For a buck fifty they’re totally worth the purchase, but I can’t see myself paying much more than two dollars for one of these guys. It’s cool, and it’s nice that there’s no added sugar but I’d go without applesauce before I paid any more than that.

Postscript: Coincidentally, we won some Apple Cinnamon GoGo SqueeZ from Jason at BevNerd.com a couple weeks after we first bought and sampled this product. Not sure which one I prefer (the Apple Cinnamon tastes kind of like pureed apple pie filling), but they’re both tasty. I’m curious though – the front of the box says “99.9% Fruit & Cinnamon” and the ingredients reads “Apple, Cinnamon:. What’s the other 0.1%?

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Quaker True Delights Granola Bar

6 comments Written on February 22nd, 2011 by
Categories: Food
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Product: Quaker True Delights Toasted Coconut Banana Macadamia Nut Chew Granola Bar with Whole Grains
(say that three times fast, bonus points for saying it with a True Delights bar stuffed in your mouth)
Purchased at: Grocery Outlet (Seattle – Madrona)
Price: $1.69 (box of 5 bars)

Marisa’s Take: I’d love to meet the person behind naming products like Quaker True Delights (granola bars), Dove’s Promises (individually-wrapped chocolates), Betty Crocker’s Warm Delights (a plastic bowl full of chocolate you stick in the microwave) and other indulgent product names seemingly targeted to middle-aged women who flop down on the couch in front of the TV after a long day of work and eat the product straight from the bag/box/pint with a spoon (which I am definitely guilty of, on multiple occasions).

Note how they post all the nutritional benefits on the packaging – 0g trans fat! Iron! C’mon guys, face it, it’s a candy bar. It’s oats held together by sugar topped with banana and toasted coconut (also coated in sugar). A true delight (only 140 calories though).

The smell was overwhelming when the wrapper came off; it was akin to a tropical sugar skin scrub from a fancy-pants spa. The actual bar was quite gooey, but crispy with a flavor that I can only describe as “banana syrup”. In my head, I can picture a giant bottle of fluorescent yellow-tinted liquid sitting at the Quaker factory. It was really sticky and gooey when I held it too.

It kind of reminds me of a tropical island Rice Krispie treat, if such a thing existed (but with oats instead of quaker true delights banana coconut macademiapuffed rice). There’s also a cloying sweetness that sticks around in your mouth for a while after eating one. I ending up eating the rest of the bar after the initial taste test, despite my above critique (sugar is truly a powerful drug).

Watch for my newest granola/health bar in a few years – it’s going to be powdered women’s multivitamins combined with oats, flax seed and Metamucil. It’ll be called, “You Go Girl!” (No relation to Go Girl energy drink).

Checking out some past reviews of the product, looks like they’ve changed their original black packaging with script lettering to something slightly less…seductive (what’s pictured above).

Ben’s Take: I’m the kind of person who tries to be prepared for life’s little annoyances. I keep a small shovel next to my car’s jack and full-sized spare. I also keep a complete tool kit with all of the tools I need to handle most standard automotive field repairs, from changing a tire to replacing my exhaust system. Being prepared is what I do, and as such I like to keep emergency snacks for those times when I get stuck in Seattle’s supremely awesome traffic. These little emergency snacks keep me from making a detour for Dick’s (While I love Dick’s, I prefer to eat them as a treat so I can enjoy them, instead of inhaling them).

As you might expect, I’m often left turning to my emergency snack reserve to make it home and as such I like to keep the mix interesting. I was hoping the Mommy Bar we also picked up at the Seattle-Madrona Grocery Outlet would be a fine candidate since they had some extra vitamin-like-fortification but as I noted in that post they were pretty bland. Marisa, in her infinite wisdom, suggested we give the True Delights a try as well. I found that they were significantly better, though smaller. They also lacked the additional DHA fortification that expectant mothers might want but they sure made up for it with their sweetness. At 140 calories, I figured they weren’t going to be horribly sweet but in reality I found that the assaulted my taste buds with the same sweetness as a Snickers or Milky Way candy bar. Way too sweet to be a backup meal.

In fact, I was glad I found this out at home, because I needed to down a glass of milk after the first bite. I don’t know what would have happened if I tried these out on the road. In traffic. Perhaps there would have been a road rage incident involving a bicycle, a car and their window. I can’t say for sure, but I bet it would have been ugly.

If you were looking for a sweet treat, I’d recommend you give these a look, but if you’re looking for something a little more wholesome – just keep looking. Though these are relatively reasonable in terms of calories, they’re just as sweet as any other candy-granola bar hybrid and I just find that those just don’t satisfy me in the least.

Buy Quaker True Delights on Amazon.com, now made with WHOLE GRAINS

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