Posts Tagged ‘In a Can’

I Jerk It Out with Another New Energy Drink

2 comments Written on June 27th, 2011 by
Categories: Drinks
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Product: Jerk Energy Soda (they also have a Facebook page and Twitter)
Purchased at: Grocery Outlet (Seattle – 4th Avenue/SODO)
Price: 50 cents

First and foremost – no, we have not reached unsavory new levels of things we’re doing to attract readership (we’re also not giving any free iPods). Though hey, if you’re already here, why not stick around?

Jerk Energy Soda is just another foray into the over-saturated and over-caffeinated energy drink market. While there’s a new energy drink born every minute, this one piqued my interest pretty much solely for the name alone. Plus it’s got some 80s era retro gaming style graphics so I figured the 50 cents price tag was reasonable. Also I get to say the phrase “Jerk Juice”. Heh…jerk juice.

Curiously enough, for a product that we found at two separate Grocery Outlets, I couldn’t find any reviews from any mainstream energy drink websites right off the bat, though lots of social media content and promos from hip hop groups. The only input we got about this drink beforehand was that the gal at the store told us it “tasted like Sweet Tarts”. With 36g of scrumptious sugar per can (regular Coca-Cola has 39g, for reference), we figured it really couldn’t taste like anything besides candy.

While most energy drinks are a fluorescent, doctor-shocking urine yellow, Jerk’s got a nice blue-green color to it (blue whens it comes from the can, green in the glass, so we figured we have some wacky light refraction action going on in our photo). I was secretly hoping it’d be purple though.

One swig of this stuff immediately brought back memories of watermelon Jolly Ranchers (though I can see how it would taste like Sweet Tarts too). Since this stuff is pretty sweet, I probably got more of a rush from the HFCS instead of the caffeine and ginseng and taurine and guarana and all that garden-variety energy drink jazz. Suffice to say, if you’d want to get crazy and FourLoko it up, this drink earns my “Would Also Work Good as a Mixer” seal of approval. If anything, it needs a bit of a kick to cut through the syrupy sweet twinge of corn syrup and water. (Looking back at our past soda and energy drink reviews, you’d think we were alcoholics with all the stuff we end up just mixing with booze.)

All in all, not a terrible drink for 50 cents a can. While I would enjoy a diet version since more sugar is the last thing I need (though artificial sweeteners probably aren’t much better), Jerk has a decent taste for what it’s worth. I might just buy a few more cans and get my jerk on again in the future.

TaB – A Sassy Product of The Coca Cola Company

1 Comment » Written on June 23rd, 2011 by
Categories: Drinks
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I don’t know about you but I’ve come to associate TaB with grandmothers. Exclusively with grandmothers. Well maybe aunts, but definitely older women. I would guess it has something to do with the brand’s position during the late 1970s through the 1980s as a sassy and sexy product for sassy sexy people, and no I’m not implying that your grandmother is sexy, though she may have been quite the spry young woman back in the day.

When TaB first launched in 1963 it was moving into uncharted territory. Diet Rite had been launched as a commercial product just the year before and nobody knew how the health conscious hippie consumer would respond to TaB’s flavor or position as an ultra-low calorie product. Fortunately for Coca Cola, TaB proved to be quite successful during it’s early years and gained popularity right up to 1969 when researchers believed that the primary sweetener in tab, cyclamate, had a carcinogenic metabolite. Read: some lab coat wearing folks thought that TaB was gonna give you cancer. Chemo is totally sassy and sexy.

The FDA pulled cyclamate off of the shelves and after a quick reshuffling of sweeteners TaB marched on continuing to enjoy solid sales people experiencing taste bud damage. That is until Diet Coke hit the scene. That ruined TaB’s sales forever. Though, all of them grandmothers and aunts have managed to drink enough TaB to keep Coke from shutting the product line down.

As a modern beverage TaB is quite lacking. It tastes like a generic calorie free soda with an extra dose of aspartame aftertaste and a good helping of an caramel and hint of burnt motor oil. It manages to have such a complex bouquet of flavors while managing to be completely and utterly bland. To give it the benefit of the doubt I transferred the contents of TaB from the can to a brandy sniffer in the hopes that the sniffer would enhance the aroma of the soda much like it would help a fine liquor realize it’s full potential.

My first at enhancing the flavor of my can of TaB proved to be a failure. It tasted exactly the same. The same oily blandness. I couldn’t just bring myself to chuck out the remaining eight ounces of soda so I decided to punch it up a little with a shot or two of spiced rum. This works with my Safeway Select calorie free colas so I thought it would work here. It didn’t. Now I had spicy oily cola that was still somehow bland and undersweet. (Yes, I said under sweet and I don’t even like sweet things).

The worst part is within a few minutes of adding my splash of rum the entire beverage went flat. Leaving me with half a sniffer of flat oily cola and spiced rum. What the heck. I couldn’t even finish my beverage. It was just that wrong, and I thought it was impossible to make a beverage worse with spiced rum.

At the end of the day I ended up dumping the rest of the glass, spiced rum and all. It just wasn’t good. I don’t see what all of the ex-hippy aunts and grandmothers see in it. It must be residual sexy and sassy advertising.

Venom Energy Mojave Rattler

No Comments » Written on April 8th, 2011 by
Categories: Drinks
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Product: Venom Energy (Mojave Rattler flavor)
Purchased at: Grocery Outlet (South Tacoma/56th St.)
Price: 50 cents/can

Ben’s Take: I remember meeting a representative from Snapple when they introduced the Venom line of energy drinks. At the time I was trying to maintain my slim and girlish figure so I gave this a go when they came in metal bottles that had resealable lids. I think this was just before Monster started on their “Dub” line of energy drinks so the novelty of an energy drink in an aluminum bottle-can-fusion was still around.

Neat idea, but that was at the launch. Apparently Snapple has released a canned version of Venom Mojave Rattler. There’s not much to say about a regression in beverage storage technology, I mean, we all know what a tallboy can looks like. No, we’re concerned with the flavor and effects of Mojave Rattler.

You would expect a beverage that comes in a purple can to have a purple beverage and taste like extra artificial grape, a flavor that I will henceforth refer to as “purple.” At least, that’s what Four Loko has taught me. No, Mojave Rattler is that standard issue energy drink yellow. It also tastes like Sugar Free Red Bull without that aspertame aftertaste, though the high trained experts over at Possessed by Caffeine said the flavor reminded them of Sugar Free Rockstar.  Regardless of what your taste buds say, at least it doesn’t taste like Dimetap Cough Medicine (unlike Purple NOS).

As far as energy drinks are concerned, it’s pretty standard in terms of overall caffeine and fortifying additives like Vitamin B, but hey it’s only 50 cents a can at Grocery Outlet, but only if you have to buy four. Basically for the price of one of these four packs you would have only gotten one Monster, or Rockstar at 7-Eleven. Heck, it beats the price of Wired at Grocery Outlet, which generally runs about $1.00/can.

The best part is it’s like Coca Cola C2, which is a half sugar, half aspertame sweetened beverage. It tasted better than Diet Coke, but didn’t’ have the Calories of a Coca Cola Classic. The   Plus it’s like the Coca Cola C2 of energy drinks, being sweetened with a mix of sucralose, maltodextrin, and glucose. That means that I have a harder time tasting the reduced calorie sweetener (sucralose) and that just makes me a happy camper. In case you were wondering, it’s 50 Calories per 16oz. Basically, if you’re looking for a decent and inexpensive reduced calorie energy drink, this is your drink.

Marisa’s Take: Everyone can blame me for this post being so late since it was supposed to go up on Wednesday morning. Coincidentally, it’s going up this morning because I didn’t have enough energy to write it the past few nights, thanks to my 4am wake up time. So despite going to bed at 7 pm the past few nights, I’m up bright and early today and armed with some caffeine (this time in the form of black coffee) to provide some fuel for this post.

Energy drinks are a dime a dozen these days. Well, more  like $8 for a dozen, depending on the current market. As Ben mentioned we got a pretty good deal on these for 50 cents a can.

I’m not too picky about energy drinks, as long as these don’t taste like raw chemicals or toxic waste. I usually prefer my stimulants covered by a light fruit taste and/or fruity color as well. Keeping this in mind, it’s no wonder my current favorite is Rockstar Pink, which, last time I bought it, even came with a little bendy straw like a juice box. Awesome.

The first time I had this particular energy drink was actually last August. After a long drive of driving through northern California on our latest multi-state/West Coast road trip, it was time to swap places since Ben needs to drive and I was just waking up from a nap. We pulled off in the little town of Weed, CA. After some “freshening up” and buying some extremely tacky souvenirs at a local gas station, I grabbed up of these to accompany me.

The taste is pretty generic. Somewhat sweet, not too offensive. When we pouted it into a glass, I was a tad disappointed as well that it wasn’t colored a festive Kool-Aid grape-like purple. However, there’s really nothing that would make it stand out against other energy drinks besides the price we paid this time around and the fact that it’s sugar-free, though it seems most energy drinks are these days. All told, it’s a decent tasting energy drink that we got at a decent price, so I would have no qualms about picking up a four pack again.