Product: Annie’s Organic Tropical Treat Bunny Fruit Snacks
Purchased at: Valley Liquidation
Price: 25 cents (one pouch)
Annie’s Homegrown claims their food products are organic and don’t utilize genetically modified organisms (GMO) but I’m pretty sure the high yield, low fat, high flavor “Bunny Fruit” is not a naturally occurring genetic variant of conventional fruiting species that I’m aware of. I mean I know that inter-specific hybrids are possible both in the animal and plant kingdoms which allow for all sorts of fancy hybrid organisms (especially hybrid organisms within the plant kingdom, though you can get mules and other organisms within the animal kingdom). However inter-kingdom hybrids just don’t happen outside of [insert Science Fiction of your choosing here]. No, the only thing that explains Annie’s Homegrown Tropical Bunny Fruit Snacks is through the use of transgenic organisms and genetic modification.
I know that meat sourced from free-range organic bunnies is supposed to be particularly tasty, low in fat, and easy on the environment so perhaps genetic material sourced from free-range organic bunnies makes the Annie’s Homegrown Tropical Bunny Fruit Snacks exempt from the USDA requirements. Or perhaps Annie discovered a small isolated island in the middle of the Atlantic with a harvestable plant that yields a semi-transparent, chewy, seedless fruit that just happens to resemble a rabbit. I’d bet Annie even enslaved moved some of the locals under an HB1 work visa to work on her farms to cultivate the fruit and protect her from industrial espionage.
Most tropical fruit products are heavy in pineapple flavorings and often carry a notably artificially flavored flavor that is often overly sweet and lacking in tartness that I’ve come to love from real tropical fruits. It’s as if everyone who’s involved in making “tropical” flavors have only tried canned pineapples, and a mango flavored smoothie. Well, Annie must have tasted some real tropical fruit because these actually have a remotely “tropical” flavor to them. While I still can’t say they taste anything like mango, dragon fruit, pineapple or lychee I will say that I enjoyed Annie’s interpretation of “tropical” flavors more than her competitors.
Her gummies did feel tackier and softer than other gummy snacks I’ve eaten which might cause some trouble on a hot day where I would expect these to simply turn into a sticky horrible mess. Parent’s should be aware that giving these to their kids is just asking for the “bunnies” to run away and end up crushed and melted into every surface they could possibly come in contact with, including but not limited to hair, carpets, pets, neighbors, and automotive upholstery. They also have the unique ability to stick to surfaces, which means they have an added ability that most gummy treats don’t have: they can defy gravity.
All things considered I would consider munching on another pack of Annie’s Bunny Fruit, in spite of my concerns about her use of genetically modified organisms. It was a pleasant change of pace from the standard “tropical” flavor without straying too far from the conventional western model of “tropical.” I would be aware that Annie’s gummies are softer, tackier, and more gravity defying than most gummy products so they may actually be a poor choice to give to children in your own home or automobile. However if you’re sending them off to school or a playmate’s house who cares? It’s not like you’re going to have figure out how to get them off of the walls.
Editor’s Note: I will delete any comments looking to start an argument about the use of GMOs in food products. We at Clearance Cuisine hold a neutral stance on the subject so you anti-GMO zealots can go spam your cause somewhere else.