Posts Tagged ‘Spicy’

Slim Jim Dare Beef Jerky

Comments Off on Slim Jim Dare Beef Jerky Written on June 24th, 2013 by
Categories: Food
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Slim-jim-dare-8727Although inspired in part by a true incident, the following story is fictional and does not depict any actual person or event.

Obligatory sound effect to put you in the mood


(Courtroom. Judge is presiding. Attorney is presenting.)

Ladies and gentleman of the jury, I’m here today to present the case that this dried meat product violated my client’s right to choose her food blog review candidates and in fact, dared her to try it.

Read the rest of this entry »

Ranchero/Cacique Pork Chorizo

Comments Off on Ranchero/Cacique Pork Chorizo Written on March 9th, 2011 by
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How often do you see a product on grocery shelves that contains ingredients like salivary glands, cheek and lymph nodes AND actually admits it on the packaging (I’m looks at you, McDonald’s and Taco Bell)? Finally we’ve got some honest food labeling, brought to us in the form of pork chorizo. If you’re not familiar with the concept of chorizo, it’s a ground pork (sometimes beef) sausage combined with spices and sold raw in a tube. Disclaimer: I’ve only had chorizo once before, and it was hippy-dippy Trader Joe’s soy chorizo, so I really don’t have a “refined palate” (though that’s kind of a given) when it comes to this product. I don’t even know if I prepared it correctly. My internal organs are still functioning somewhat normally, so I’ll assume so.

I stood in front of the foreign refrigerated section in Saar’s Marketplace trying to figure out the difference between Cacique and Ranchero brand chorizo (and deciding between beef and pork). I ended up picking the Ranchero brand since it had a soccer ball on the wrapper (turns out they’re a “proud sponsor of the Mexican National Soccer team”). Olé! Read the rest of this entry »

Smart Chicken Hot Italian Sausage

Comments Off on Smart Chicken Hot Italian Sausage Written on February 1st, 2011 by
Categories: Food
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]When I graduated college, I got to sit in a huge crowd of starry-eyed young adults just like myself. We heard inspirational speeches from past graduates and business owners and chatted amongst ourselves about our aspirational plans for the future (for the story’s sake, forget anything about our current unemployment rates). I even got to shake hands with the college president.

Unfortunately, when these chickens graduate, they don’t get degrees – they become cutlets and ground chicken and sausages.  Though in this economy, is that preferable to tackling post-college employment prospects? Read the rest of this entry »

Chorizo Chipotle Corn Nuts

Comments Off on Chorizo Chipotle Corn Nuts Written on January 29th, 2011 by
Categories: Food
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The latter half of this decade seems to be the era of the Chipotle (I wish I was born in the year of the chipotle, I got stuck with a dragon). Chipotle burger, chipotle potato chips, chipotle snack wraps, the list goes on. I bet the average person wouldn’t even know that a “chipotle” is not a distinct variety of pepper, it is simply a smoked jalapeño.

A quick trip to the Corn Nuts official website confirmed that the Chorizo Chipotle flavor is no longer listed, but currently there’s other South of the Border-style flavors “Caliente” and “Chili Picante” (aren’t those kind of the same thing?)

I vividly remember frequently buying 1.7 oz bags (75 cents each!) of Corn Nuts in middle school and eating them right before class started. Unfortunately, I leaned toward the most aromatic flavor, BBQ. I recall one of my classmates looking around and exclaiming, “Ugh, what smells like BARBEQUE?” and then awkwardly trying to hide the bag under my desk. Read the rest of this entry »