Posts Tagged ‘Candy’

Bologna Bubble Gum

Comments Off on Bologna Bubble Gum Written on July 25th, 2011 by
Categories: Food
Tags: , ,

The precise ingredients of processed meat products has always been one of those delightful little mysteries of life, just like “Who used up all of the toilet paper?” and “Where’d all my money go?”. It’s more of an inconvenience than a serious inquiry, because if you looked into it, the results would be disappointing, depressing and most likely disgusting. Despite my love of Slim Jims, Chicken McNuggets and other questionable meat products (my estimated life expectancy: 42), I’ve never been much of a fan of bologna though.

In this case, my bologna (or buh-LOG-na, if you so desire) doesn’t have a first name because it’s made by “Ford Gum and Machine Company, Inc.” in Akron, New York, though actually produced in the People’s Republic of China. Even though it’s made up of “sugar, gum base, corn syrup, talcum powder, corn starch, artificial flavor, glycerin, citric acid, soy lecithin, malic acid, artificial colors (including red 40) and BHT” they decided to cleverly steal imitate Oscar Mayer’s classic packaging, perhaps in the hopes that someone would see an unrefrigerated package of meat on a shelf and eagerly pick it up. Read the rest of this entry »

Roca Buttercrunch Thins: Milk Toffee

Comments Off on Roca Buttercrunch Thins: Milk Toffee Written on May 11th, 2011 by
Categories: Food
Tags: , , ,

I am blessed (or in regard to my waistline, cursed) to be located about fifteen minutes away from Brown & Haley Candy Company, maker of this product, Almond Roca, Mountain Bars and a variety of other confections they make. Keep in mind, where there’s a candy factory, there’s thousands of pieces of candy that don’t quite measure up to quality assurances tests (either misshaped, miswrapped and what have you). Enter the Brown & Haley Outlet store.

We picked up a box of Roca Thins for 99 cents at the store, which is located right outside the factory. They have a variety of deeply discounted goods like: 2 lbs of the seasonal Candy Cane Roca for 99 cents, Cappuccino and Mint (respectively) Mountain Bars for 10 cents or a bag of Macadamia Roca for 50 cents. My arteries are groaning, but my wallet is happy. Read the rest of this entry »

Rebel Rocks

Comments Off on Rebel Rocks Written on May 3rd, 2011 by
Categories: Food
Tags: ,

I was never much of a rebel in my teenage years, unless you count being extremely awkward, blasting Beatles music and driving a Ford Taurus while mindfully obeying the speed limit as rebellious. I’ve had to force myself to settle for eating candy made by THE MAN and culture conforming candy corporations. I have no idea why these candy rocks may be rebellious, other than that fact that they use not one but two forms of sugar and lots of delicious food dyes to achieve their semiprecious stone look. You can have your “fair trade-organic-90% cacao” whatever, I’m gonna be hardcore and eat straight up sugar and coloring to get my candy fix. Read the rest of this entry »

Too Tarts Melted Ice Cream Spray Candy

Comments Off on Too Tarts Melted Ice Cream Spray Candy Written on April 4th, 2011 by
Categories: Food
Tags: , , , , , ,

Kids these days have a lot to watch out for. Drinking, drugs, gangs, junk food, Rebecca Black music videos. So I can applaud a company that wants to create a delicious, sugar-free alternative to the normal Snickers and Skittles candy fare in the attempts to curb the childhood obesity epidemic. Innovative Candy Concepts, makers of Too Tarts Melted Ice Cream Spray Candy, had the right idea when they wanted to create a sugar-free spray candy but I’m don’t think it’s the best execution. In the 2007 press release announcing the product, the ICC president and CEO states, “Ice cream just seems to taste better when it’s melted”. I respectfully have to disagree. If melted ice cream were better than its naturally frozen form, they’re be tubs and tubes of melted ice cream sloshing on grocery store shelves. I’m also kind of iffy on the concept of spraying a Splenda sweetened, syrupy liquid into my mouth and calling it “candy”, just like I’m hesitant about pepper spray blasting into my eyes and calling it “caliente eye drops”. Read the rest of this entry »

Energy Dots

Comments Off on Energy Dots Written on February 17th, 2011 by
Categories: Food
Tags: ,

There are numerous infamous examples of foods and drinks that just didn’t seem to make it: New Coke, Crystal Pepsi, Arch Deluxe to name a few. Sometimes it’s a mystery why products don’t hit it off. Unfortunately, I feel this product has several obvious reasons.

I didn’t really know what I was getting into when I picked up the box. Normally, I wouldn’t pay this much for a product to review, especially a product of which I was hesitant about the claims. When I first opened the box to photograph and eat the dots, I was greeted with strips of perforated foil and plastic pouches, each containing three dots (appearing more like pills now though). Now, I don’t want to make any judgments, but I probably would be pretty iffy about carrying around pouches of little pink tabs with just “e” printed on the outside. Maybe I’m just being paranoid. Read the rest of this entry »